Sleep Talker

When Tyson and I got married, he worked at UPS loading the trucks before they went out for the day.  This means, he started work at 4am (2am and sometimes earlier during Christmas!).  When we were first married and living in our apartment, I would get in bed around 8pm and read, so that he would get enough sleep (he didn't like going to bed without me... he has since gotten over that).

One night, about 9 months after we had been married, I was reading and Tyson had just drifted off (he's a twitcher, so I always know when he's falling asleep), and he started talking.

"I can't fart in my sleep with a REAL gun."

I started to laugh so hard and he immediately woke up and demanded, "What did I just say??"  I was laughing so hard that I couldn't spit it out.    The way he said it was so hilarious to me.  And what does that even mean??  I pulled out a scrap of paper and wrote it down, because I knew that I wouldn't remember it in the morning.  It still cracks me up to this day. I honestly can NOT say that line without busting up.

When we moved into our condo, that piece of paper got packed away and then was pulled out at the new house.  I laughed until I cried when I read it (because I had forgotten it!).

Tyson has only talked a handful of time in his sleep.  And I didn't write the rest of them down, so I don't remember what else he has said.  But I know that they weren't as good as the first time I heard his psycho-babbling.

Tyson, I love you.  And it doesn't matter to me if the gun is real or fake, but please don't fart in bed.