Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sentimental Reasons

Let me share something with you:

Last night, being able to hold my baby again, was worse than being away from her all day.

I sat on the couch, crying my eyes out, while I was thinking how I would have to be away from her again today (and tomorrow and then every week day after that).

I do pretty good once I'm at work... I just tell myself that I can't think about the fact that I am missing all of her coos and smiles and cries and feedings and diaper changes. 

I want to be there for all of that.  Even the blowouts and the spit up and the cries the don't stop right away.  I want to be the one taking care of her and watching her change by the minute.  Because she does.

I lost it once I was home with her again.  I just sat and stared at her all night and cried more than a few times.

So to all of you stay-home-moms: please, please realize how lucky you are to be home with your babies (even though it is SO hard at times).  You have my envy.

Work is SO happy to have me back.  I do not reciprocate their sentiments.

4 comments:

Kateka said...

That makes me want to cry!

Chelsea said...

That makes me want to cry too, but probably because I don't take the time to appreciate being with my kids all day.
So, thank you, friend! That was a perfect reminder for me (today especially!)

You are such an awesome mom. Can you adopt me? :)

(ok, my mom is pretty dang awesome too. maybe we could just split it 50/50?!)

The Bowldens said...

one day you will want to be away from her (usually around age 3 or so). but i understand wanting to be with your baby. maybe you can try and find another job that lets you be at home more often?

Tasha said...

My heart aches for you right now. I am sorry that you have to be away. I was the same way after I had Molly. Luckily I didn't have to work for long after. It truly is a blessing to be able to stay at home. Thanks for the reminder. Maybe someday...