Last night, being able to hold my baby again, was worse than being away from her all day.
I sat on the couch, crying my eyes out, while I was thinking how I would have to be away from her again today (and tomorrow and then every week day after that).
I do pretty good once I'm at work... I just tell myself that I can't think about the fact that I am missing all of her coos and smiles and cries and feedings and diaper changes.
I want to be there for all of that. Even the blowouts and the spit up and the cries the don't stop right away. I want to be the one taking care of her and watching her change by the minute. Because she does.
I lost it once I was home with her again. I just sat and stared at her all night and cried more than a few times.
So to all of you stay-home-moms: please, please realize how lucky you are to be home with your babies (even though it is SO hard at times). You have my envy.
4 comments:
That makes me want to cry!
That makes me want to cry too, but probably because I don't take the time to appreciate being with my kids all day.
So, thank you, friend! That was a perfect reminder for me (today especially!)
You are such an awesome mom. Can you adopt me? :)
(ok, my mom is pretty dang awesome too. maybe we could just split it 50/50?!)
one day you will want to be away from her (usually around age 3 or so). but i understand wanting to be with your baby. maybe you can try and find another job that lets you be at home more often?
My heart aches for you right now. I am sorry that you have to be away. I was the same way after I had Molly. Luckily I didn't have to work for long after. It truly is a blessing to be able to stay at home. Thanks for the reminder. Maybe someday...
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